What are the funeral etiquette that you want to keep as a Japanese person?

It is the manners at the ceremonial occasion that require a deep understanding of Japanese culture. In particular, it is difficult to "laugh and flush" when you make a mistake at a funeral, so it is very important to acquire proper etiquette knowledge. However, in everyday life, I don't often go to funerals, and I think many people aren't confident in their manners at these seats.

Funeral etiquette varies depending on the religion and denomination of the deceased, and is not easy at all. It is a question of daily preparation and care. Let's check the manners of funerals as Japanese culture.

Is this a violation of manners? Clothes and belongings suitable for funerals

Let's get the basics first! Funeral attire

The idea of clothing for condolences is to wear black clothing, regardless of gender. However, the newsletter is often sudden, and it is highly possible that you will return to work. Especially in the case of mourning for the night, there may be situations where you cannot afford to change into mourning clothes.

In such cases, it is a good idea for men to use black suits, ties, and socks. The shirt is plain white.

Even for women, it's a good idea to wear a black or black suit or dress. Also, be aware that your stockings should be black or have a natural complexion so they don't look too gorgeous.

It is good manners to remove accessories that have a noticeable shine even if you wear them. However, there is no problem in manners even if you wear pearl accessories.

What is your child's outfit at the funeral?

For children, if they have a school uniform, they can wear it as a formal dress. This is common to all nights, funerals, farewells, and memorial services. So if your school has uniforms, the idea is very simple.

If you don't have a uniform, you can wear a white shirt or blouse with a vest or blazer, and dress in a uniform that suits your etiquette. The bottom should be paired with trousers or skirts in plain colors such as black, dark blue or gray.

If you are aware of these outfits without a uniform, you should be aware of the color of the buttons. It is best to use buttons with a plain color as much as possible, and those with a golden or silver luster are not preferred.

Also, as for these dresses, be aware that the buttons on the shirt should be stopped all the way up, and if you are a girl, you should braid your hair if it is long and remove the hair ornaments. .. For boys, it is not considered necessary to wear a tie.

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What else should I bring to the funeral?

Beads are one of the things you should bring to your funeral.

Please note that lending and borrowing beads is basically NG. There are opportunities to use beads for ceremonies and visiting graves, so it is safe to have one in case of emergency.

In addition, for the Fukusa that wraps the non-congratulatory bag, it is recommended to use cool colors such as navy blue or gray for condolences. For ceremonies such as weddings, gorgeous colors such as red and orange are often used, but it should be understood that these are used for different purposes even if they are the same fukusa. Also, if you should forget Fukusa, you can use a handkerchief instead.

As for bags and belts, matte ones, including metal fittings, are preferred. In this sense, the trick is to focus on blackish colors without ornate decorations. If the fur or reptile material is embossed, it will be considered NG in manners because it is associated with killing, so you should be especially careful.

Manners of "Kouden" that are indispensable for funerals

In the first place, what does "Kouden" mean?

In the first place, a scent is a bag in which cash is wrapped in a bag called a non-congratulatory bag, which itself can be easily purchased at convenience stores.

It is important to note that the wording on the surface of the incense bag differs depending on the religion / sect of the individual. If you do not know the denomination, it is safe to write it as "Goreizen", but strictly speaking, depending on the denomination, such a wording may be considered inappropriate, so if possible, the deceased's at the stage of receiving the news It is preferable to check the denomination as well.

For example, even though Buddhism is Buddhism, the word "Goreizen" cannot be used in Jodo Shinshu.

In Christian Catholicism, words such as "flower charges" can be used, but words such as "in front of the Holy Spirit" can also be used. But be aware that Protestants deny the word "in front of the Spirit."If you're a Protestant, it's a good idea to use a "consolation fee".

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Market price and how to insert bills

The idea is that the closer you are to the deceased, the higher the price. If your parents are deceased, the market price is about 50,000 to 100,000 yen, and if your relatives are about 10,000 to 50,000 yen. If you are not a relative but an acquaintance or friend at work, it costs 5,000 to 10,000 yen, and if you are acquainted with you, it costs about 3,000 yen.

Don't worry about sudden funerals! Manners about attendance that you should know from now on

The general flow of burning incense is to give a bow when it is your turn, burn the incense, then bow to the spiritual front, and finally to the relatives and monks again to silently finish. However, it is also true that there are small differences depending on the religion and denomination. When using incense sticks, it is good manners to pay them by hand when extinguishing the fire and not to extinguish them in a breathing manner. In the case of Christianity, flowers are sometimes used instead of incense sticks, and there are various methods. If possible, it's a good idea to attend first and see what others are doing before it's your turn.

If you cannot attend the night or farewell ceremony and cannot burn incense, you can first send a condolence telegram and then send registered mail with the incense at a later date. In the case of mailing, the address should be addressed to the mourner or a relative who is close to you, and it is a violation of etiquette to address it to the deceased. You should be careful about this point.

Summary

Funeral etiquette is not easy because many of them are very detailed and there are variations in etiquette depending on religion and denomination. In addition, since the news is sudden, it is important to prepare daily. It's a good idea to start with common sense, regardless of religion or denomination, such as how to dress and dress in black so that it doesn't look gorgeous.
Also, don't just be aware of the formal rules, but try to be considerate of the deceased and the relatives who hold the funeral.

This article is a partial re-edit of the article published in Nihongo Biyori by KARUTA.
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